First Intimate Experience: How It Can Affect Later Life

According to psychologists and sexopathologists, the first sexual experience usually has an impact on the rest of a person’s life. And this applies not only to the sphere of sexual relations and personal life.

A trap for teenagers

According to experts, if the first experience of physical intimacy was unsuccessful, it may leave a negative imprint on the entire intimate life of a person.

Those who decide to have their first sex at an early age often have a poor idea of what to expect from this experience, how to react to certain situations.

Often the circumstances are not very comfortable (for example, in the United States teenagers often lose their virginity in the back seats of cars). Partners are often under the influence of alcohol or even drugs at the time of intimacy. So the experience may be unpleasant, and for girls, due to the peculiarities of their physiology, often painful.

Negative emotions are the stronger, the less love or at least attraction there is for a partner. It happens that a girl agrees to enter into an intimate relationship only under pressure from a guy (not necessarily violence), out of fear of losing him, because all her friends do it, and so on. This can lead to her not wanting sex or relationships with men later on. And if she does get into a relationship, it can be hard for her to enjoy it.

It’s not easy for young men either. For example, they may ejaculate too quickly because of their inexperience. Next time they will be afraid of repeating this situation, and the fear can lead to problems with potency, as well as problems with women in general.

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Relationship between first sexual experience and success
Psychologist Paige Harden of the University of Texas at Austin conducted a study to find out if there is a relationship between the timing of a first sexual experience and a person’s personal life behavior – such as propensity to marry or cohabitate outside of marriage, number of partners, and relationship satisfaction.

Harden used data from the National Longitudinal Study of Adolescent Health, which tracked the fates of 1,659 same-sex twin pairs from about age 16 to 29.

Researchers divided the twins into three groups based on when they first had sex: under 15, between 15 and 19, and over 19. It turned out that the later it happened, the higher was the individual’s educational achievement and higher family income in adulthood. Meanwhile, the later young people began their intimate life, the less often they were legally married and the fewer had sexual partners compared to members of the other two groups. However, if they did marry or find a permanent partner, they tended to be more satisfied with the quality of the relationship.

Paige Harden believes that there are several possible explanations. For example, if a person first gets intimate at age 19 or later, they may initially be more discerning of potential partners. Either their life experience pushes them to be cautious in their choice of partner. It is also possible that a person who first experiences platonic relationships and only then enters into sexual intimacy, better understanding of other people, and therefore he is able to build a more successful relationship than someone who is sexually active at age 14-15.

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How to make the first sexual experience more successful?

Most experts believe that for the first sexual experience to be more or less successful, you need, above all, emotional readiness. You should not engage in sexual intercourse just because “it’s time” or that’s what all your friends do.

You should also not count on the fact that the first sex will be perfect. This is extremely rare. It is best that everything takes place in a familiar environment for you and with a partner that you know well and for whom you feel if not love, then a strong attraction. You can drink a glass of wine beforehand, but do not go overboard with alcohol.

Do not forget about contraception. Unwanted pregnancy may well occur at the first intercourse, and to speak of venereal diseases is not necessary.

Practice shows that all goes better if the partner is gentle and careful. But even if something turned out wrong, there is no need to dwell on it. Open up to new experiences, look for quality relationships and don’t hesitate to seek help from specialists.