If the relationship between a man and a woman moves to a serious plane, then sooner or later there is a question of introducing the chosen one to his parents. This task is not as simple as it seems at first glance.
Why do not we hurry to acquaint the guy with his parents
As a rule, the friend of a woman’s beau gets acquainted fairly quickly, as they spend time in the companies, go visiting. But in the case of the parents, things can be different.
Sometimes, of course, it happens that acquaintance with parents happens quite quickly – it just happens – but in most cases, the girl is in no hurry to bring the guy home in the presence of loved ones.
One reason is that she is not yet confident in the stability of the relationship. Even if all is well at the courtship stage, there is no telling what will happen next, when the “candy and bouquet period” is over.
If the young man is introduced to his parents, he will inevitably be perceived as a potential groom. With all the ensuing consequences. A woman or girl does not always want to tell her parents about her personal life. This can cause a lot of uncomfortable questions that she is not prepared for: “Has he proposed to you yet?”, “Are you having sex?”, “How much does he earn?”
Finally, there is always the possibility that the suitor simply will not like your family. You may not like his appearance, manners, social or financial status. If parents decide that he is not a pair for you, change their minds will be very difficult.
It also happens that a mutual antipathy when they meet, or the “groom” does not like your parents. Often a girl is afraid to acquaint her lover with their parents, as they are from different social classes, have a different mentality, and the likelihood of mutual rejection and misunderstanding is quite high.
When to acquaint
It does not make sense to name any terms. It can be a month, or three months, or a year. Psychologists advise to do this, if the relationship has already gone far enough. And it is not about an intimate relationship – now many couples have them on the first date, after which the partners disperse and never meet again. If you are connected only by this, then there is no point in introducing anyone.
Must meet the following conditions: you have long enough to know each other better, you feel that this man is serious about you, you do not feel for this man wariness and negative emotions and want to be with him.
At the same time, don’t go to extremes. Do not arrange the acquaintance just before the wedding or after a trip to the registry office. The deadline is when you have been proposed to and you are ready to accept it.
How to prepare for meeting your parents
In advance, tell both the young person and your parents more about each other. This will help avoid immodest questions and disappointments. It’s a good idea to show photos beforehand, too. Often when we get a lot of information about someone, we feel that we already know this person, and it is easier for us to maintain contact with them later.
It’s better to initially introduce the suitor as a friend rather than a fiancé or boyfriend: the word “friend” sounds too vague and doesn’t commit to anything. This can save you from an awkward situation.
If your chosen one still did not come to court, do not dismiss the opinion of relatives, at least listen to him. Sometimes love is blind, and we do not pay attention to the obvious and very important things.
No need to force a man to meet your parents forcibly, if he himself does not want to. He may not be ready for that. Unfortunately, sometimes this means that he is not ready for a serious relationship either. If a man stubbornly refuses to meet your loved ones, it means that all is not so clear-cut.